Philosophy On Counseling

by Jack Hyles

How To Make An Appointment.

  1. ”Week at a Glance” professional appointment book.  Bro. Hyles sends people to Mrs. McKinney, she gives Bro. Hyles a list of who wants an appointment, Bro. Hyles gives them a time, notifies Mrs. McKinney who sends out a notice.
  2. Try to determine how long it will take, based on the need; material problems take longer.
    – You can use a number system also.
    – Don’t waste time.
  3. Ask them to bring a list of what they want they want to talk about.
    –  Counseling should be about a problem, not a doctrinal issue.
    –  You must get the list from the person, so that you can control the appointment.
  4. Have a waiting room with some reading material and some refreshments.  Try to find out something about the person, especially business appointments, and have someone to greet them.
  5.  Do not counsel at home.
  6. Do not give an appointment for the same day (in most cases.)

In The Case Of Marital Counseling:

–  Both should be there.
–  Talk to them one at a time.
–  Listen to one side.
–  Make notes while listening.
–  Listen to the other side.
–  Make notes while listening.
–  Ask “What would you like to change about your spouse?”

2 types of notes: Suggestions as to what to advice and questions as to what to ask.  (Don’t interrupt)

4 Things that cause marital problems

  1. Finances
  2. Love life
  3. In-laws
  4. Disciplining children

Tell them their problem is not uncommon.  Tell them how you solved this problem, spanked my kids, my wife went out for a while.”)

Do not have them together when you are trying to find out problems.


  1. Divide decision-making areas in the home.  The fewer decisions a couple makes together the fewer chances for a fuss.
  2. The wife should have some time alone every week, at least four hours.
  3. Eat out together one night a week.
  4. Have some recreational time together.  (same night)
  5. Father should have regularly scheduled weekly time with each child.
  6. Remind of priorities of husband and wife:
    Man’s – Work. God made man to care for the garden.
    Woman’s – Man.  God made the woman to care for a man.

Always ask the woman to write down the prescription.

Repeat them to them.

Have them promise they’ll do it, or sign it.

Suggest follow-up if it seems needed.

Make both feel as if they have not been ganged up on.

Go by Bible principles, not Bible verses.

Keep a clock right over their shoulder.

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